Today was one of the worst days. I can't have Matt as a friend or anything else for that matter. I really feel as though he died..a really horrible death to, nothing peaceful. I am sick to my stomach because I will never share anything with him again. I hate him and at the same time my heart aches for him. He called me a bitch in a text message today I am sure he is sick of my desperate attempts to keep him in my life. I couldn't think of any other way to hurt him so I told him that him being mean is the reason why I slept with other people and came home to him at night, and was forced to regret things. It's not true. I did sleep with someone and come home to his bed one night. It hurt so bad, I was sick. I puked that night, cried myself to sleep. It hurt me all over that I was doing something so cruel to him. But it doesn't matter now, even if he cared it wouldn't matter. Everything me and Matt related is completly over and I have to let everything go. Things that are especially hard to let go of are the good memories I have with him. We were so close. We would go on adventures like little kids on foot, or in my car, even on my bike and his skateboard. We would go thrift shopping and find books. I would bring him dinner to his work and spend a lot of time waiting for him there just because I didn't want to drive back and forth. kiki marin. Gus. fourth of july on rocky butte. funny night. Popcorn and how he called it cop porn. moving into the new house, getting snowed in, warm socks, walking in the snow, finding little notes randomly that said love you. I even miss washing his clothes or thinking of something for us to eat for dinner. Falling to sleep at night by myself to a movie knowing he would turn the tv off for me. My heart is broken in a million pieces everything about our relationship makes me cry, and extremly sad. And to make everything worse, I am now going through all of my things and realizing how much of my things were his, or how many of his things he left behind. Today was horrible and I just don't see how things are going to get better.

a day in the life of me.

I am really fucking stoned.. oh my fucking weed goddess

I really believe:that we should all do this all day and forget about anything else. that is what i really believe. dentyne ice. kit kat

lemme write something..lemme write something


SARA:
sara says matt says we should all go to sharis


people are cahbning saris

SHAIRS SHAY A RIES

I'm in the process of changing this to friends only with the EXCEPTION of a few entries here and there♥ have a wonderful day!

Is Lily Allen


Photo:Janine/The Mercury

UGH I fucking love her music.

I can't wait til the 28th!! 6 FREAKING DAYS!

I forgot to say that today is Ostara! Today is the day I and a lot of other pagans welcome back the spring goddess from her sleepy sleepy~

Here is some cool stuff if you were curious:
Written by:Peg Aloi

Easter gets its name from the Teutonic goddess of spring and the dawn, whose name is spelled Oestre or Eastre (the origin of the word "east" comes from various Germanic, Austro-Hungarian words for dawn that share the root for the word "aurora" which means " to shine"). Modern pagans have generally accepted the spelling "Ostara" which honors this goddess as our word for the Vernal Equinox.

Anyways Today is the Vernal Equinox that means our world is completley horizontal right now!! And that spring is here!!

Blessed be! *)O(*

Here are some pictures I thought were pretty as well!!

One that I found:



One that I took:


I like them both

So today seems like its lasting a million hours. I went to bed last (?morning) at 5 ish. I woke up at 12ish. I have been so tired all day but can't even fall asleep. I need friends on this thing!!! Okay so thats all I have to say, told ya it was a boring day!